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Porn shouldn’t damage a relationship

July 8, 2011
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UPDATE: I just discovered the most fabulous blog through Dan Savage (one of my favorite sex and relationship advice columnists) and his Savage love podcast. www.blaghag.com written by Jennifer McCreight. I just finished reading a post about her experiences at an anti-porn event and her arguments and sarcastic comments  had me both nodding in agreement and laghing out loud (I am especially fond of the horcrux/Voldemort reference. McCreight is a woman after my own heart). I thought it would be good reading for those who enjoyed this post (and maybe some enlightenment for those who think porn is evil?) The latter is probably too much to hope for, but a girl can dream, right?

I’m really so sick of hearing about girls freaking out if they find out their boyfriends/husbands look at porn. Really? Let’s be honest. A pretty high percentage of men (and I would bet even a good amount of women, thought they may not as freely admit it) look at porn. In December, Simon Louis Lajeunesse, a scientist and a professor at the University of Montreal, published some interesting findings about porn. He set out to compare the sexual views of men in their twenties who used porn to those who didn’t, but he couldn’t find ANY men who had NEVER viewed the adult material. (Check out the news story here) Looking at porn is not that same as cheating. Men do not look at it because they’d rather have sex with the porn stars than their significant other. It’s a novelty and it’s visually stimulating. That’s it. Critics of porn say it can lead to adultery, sexual violence and a corruption of a normal sense of sexuality. In the 1980s, anti-porn campaigns claimed porn led to increased sexual violence, however, since then the availability and ease of access to porn has grown exponentially, and rates of sexual violence have dropped by 85 percent. Many women say porn is misogynistic and glorifies the mistreatment of women.  While I agree some porn is down right degrading, jumping to the conclusion that men will treat women poorly just because they watch porn is probably a stretch. Obviously a large amount of the male population has watched porn on a regular basis. I’m sure most of my male friends fall in to this category, and all of them are generally smart, upstanding citizens, if not always gentlemen. And not ALL porn actually is degrading. There is even porn made and directed by women themselves. Not all porn stars are down and out women just trying to make a buck whom are being exploited. Many porn stars, like Jenna Jameson, have stated they really enjoy working in the porn industry. Read my With Love column on the porn subject to find out more about why Porn shouldn’t damage relationships. With love,

P.S. The comments on this column for the Index are some of my favorite. Two commentators “Girlfriend” and “n” have a little tiff and “n” tells “Girlfriend” she sounds like the dentist’s girlfriend in the Hangover…I literally laughed out loud.

7 Comments leave one →
  1. GOSEXYSLIM permalink
    July 1, 2010 3:56 pm

    nice post

  2. September 23, 2010 10:46 am

    Porn and Masturbation is a very serious addiction to some. Did you know that it can advance to be a psychological problem and lead to broken marriages and loss of jobs, rape and molestation?
    God did not create us to masturbate but to make love to one in flesh in marriage. In 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 God gives us some instructions on sexual immorality.

    I however know that we have all been given freewill and God’s son came to earth in form of man, was tested as we are, overcame and died for our sins. If you accept him, your sins will be forgiven and washed away.

    Now you know the truth. Choose

  3. Jerry permalink
    October 6, 2010 2:31 pm

    Although porn may not be the cause of major problems it is definitely a symptom of it. Why would someone want to look at porn in the first place? That is the question you need to answer. There is not way it is just about stimulation.

  4. November 26, 2010 9:37 pm

    I agree with Istoped. looking at porn is worse than a drug addiction. reseach it I dare you. I have been through it. tore my life apart. I loss my marrige that was only part of it. it changes how you look at other women. It makes them feel dirty. We are to save are eyes for the one we marry.

  5. February 4, 2011 1:23 am

    I agree with the author of this blog. I’ve been happily married for five years and I love porn. I think being sexually and romantically alive is wonderful. I don’t watch the weird stuff, but I think it’s awesome to watch a man and woman have sex! My thing is that I don’t lust (imagining me and and someone else besides my wife having sexual relations). I found out if your mind starts doing that then you will want to cheat. But if you can enjoy porn without lusting then you’re free to enjoy it and remain faithful to my wife in mind and body.

  6. pusy teen permalink
    May 3, 2011 11:11 pm

    wow nice very nice

  7. June 12, 2011 12:02 am

    Cann’t agree more. Check this out.

    http://indieporno.com/

    To be the world best adult community

    Make Adult Life Better: Free Porn Videos and All

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